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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054124">this is why i'm hot</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_butter/pseuds/honey_butter'>honey_butter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dimension 20 (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Demisexual Riz Gukgak, M/M, OR IS IT, One-Sided Attraction, also look at the word count ahaha, i am an adaine &amp; riz truther, i dont know how to tag this!! it got entirely away from me, okay i'll shut up now i'm accomplishing nothing, riz gukgak conspiracy theories we love to seem em</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:28:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_butter/pseuds/honey_butter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Fabian was hiding something from Riz, something big. And all of their friends knew. Which made it all the more surprising how long Riz withstood the desire to make a clue board.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Basically, Riz has enough of Fabian's bullshit and decides to make a conspiracy board.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adaine Abernant &amp; Riz Gukgak, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>252</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this is why i'm hot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>okay so. i have absolutely no idea how this got to be so long. i wrote the majority of it before starting the second season so this is pretty much just based on what i've managed to gather from other fics and isn't heavy spoiler wise.</p><p>the title is just the name of the song this is why i'm hot by ajj. i had to crowd source for this one but it's actually a perfect riz song and a perfect name for this fic so thank you grace, love you.</p><p>enjoy!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Riz could tell that Fabian was hiding something from him. It didn’t take an </span>
  <em>
    <span>officially licensed</span>
  </em>
  <span> private investigator— which he was, thank you very much— to notice something was off, and had been since the end of their sophomore year. It was in the way Fabian’s mouth tensed sometimes, how his eye darted away when Riz tried to hold it, the Hangman’s disgruntled rumbling every time Riz got near. And the thing was, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span> for his friend to have secrets, he’d be a hypocrite if he thought anything else. Sklonda had sat him down after his freshman year and said, very plainly, that if he wanted to keep himself and others happy he had to learn when to let some trails grow cold. Trails like, for instance, your best friend having some private matter they did not want to discuss with you. So, no, Riz’s issue wasn’t that Fabian was keeping secrets, it was that Fabian was keeping this secret from </span>
  <em>
    <span>only</span>
  </em>
  <span> him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was something like sympathy behind all of his friends’ eyes sometimes, when Fabian would pull away from Riz or ignore his requests to hang out, and Riz didn’t understand </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> or </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> but for some reason the two were linked. Usually Fabian was the one being an asshole so why his friends would be feeling sympathy for the guilty party was beyond him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that </span>
  <em>
    <span>bothered</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. It felt like when you have an itch at the very center of your back and no matter what you do you can’t reach it. It felt like forgetting to eat because you’re so focused on work that when you finally stop you’re nearly knocked out by how hungry you are and then, for no goddamn reason, can’t decide on which flavor of processed corn you’d like that day. It felt like finally sucking it up and letting your mom cut your hair and hearing a quiet “oh no” right after the razor touches your head. To be completely honest, it fucking sucked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which made it all the more surprising how long Riz withstood the desire to make a clue board. It wasn’t until the summer after their senior year when Fabian was two weeks into spending the month with his mother’s family and Adaine was busy doing something or other and the summer heat was so oppressive it felt like he was trapped inside of Goldenrod’s fiery dragon asshole, that Riz finally gave in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled out a board from what was now a years old case, carefully filing all of the old evidence away before propping it up against the wall and staring at its now blank surface. This was always the hard part: beginning. Putting the pieces together was easy for Riz, most of the time laughably so, but picking out the right clues, that was the difficult part.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He started easy by tacking a picture of Fabian directly in the center; his favorite picture of him where he’s smiling, good eye all scrunched up in happiness, sunlight dappling his features in gold. Riz let his fingers trail over that smile for a second before brushing himself off, feeling immensely silly. It’s just that, well, he missed him and maybe focusing on a Fabian Case while there was a Fabian sized hole in his chest wasn’t the </span>
  <em>
    <span>smartest</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next on the board was a picture of himself, it was a photo from freshman year and he’d had to rip it out of a photobook Gorthalax had made for his mom but he figured she wouldn’t mind too much. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>important.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He tied a red string from his picture to Fabian’s, that was the most important connection, and would almost definitely lead to the secret behind it all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he left it like that, walking away to help his mom get groceries from the store. It ate at the back of his mind, but Riz was getting better at taking a step back, at prioritising, and he knew that if he slept on it for a few nights eventually this case, just like all of his other ones, would come together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over the next few days, Riz slowly added to the board— a trip to Basrar’s here, the Mordred Manor sleepover after senior prom there— until he began to build an actual case. His friends’ reactions to all of these instances were detailed diligently beside their listings, and lines and lines of string and sticky notes and thumbtacks slowly formed into a shape inside of his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It all came to a head when he was volunteering at the soup kitchen with Jawbone. He still wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to keep going down this secret agent, detective, life-of-danger-and-mystery thing even though he was supposed to be going to even more school (this time for spies) that fall, and Jawbone had been helping him work through all of that, even if he technically wasn’t his guidance counselor anymore. Part of that meant tagging along while Jawbone was working his way through helping the entire Elmville community. The kitchen was having a particularly slow day, which left Riz to stare blankly at the white wall in front of his face, mapping the little fake-brick lines in its surface. His eyes tracked the small divots dug into the wall, trying to make it more fancy than it actually was, which made him think of Fabian and his slight obsession with superficial looks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz would never live up to Fabian’s standards in that regard. His hair was too greasy, the way he ate too messy, his feral anger too much, too wild, even for Fabian. All of this, perfectly represented by the moment in the gym their freshman year when Fabian cut Dayne’s hand off and Riz offered, manic with post-battle endorphins and vengeance, to rip his eye out for him. Fabian had hurriedly brushed him aside, expression blanching at the thought. And that was it, really. Riz always took it one step too far, pushed just that extra amount, making Fabian turn away, push back, distance himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe that was the secret. Fabian was actually disgusted by Riz.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, no. That couldn’t be it. The itching was still there, and it sat wrong in a way that was definitely more than just the self-deprecation. So he kept digging, eyes tracing yet another line in the wall, this one branching away from the first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was definitely something to do with his relationship to Fabian, that much Riz was confident in, but what? And why hadn’t Fabian felt like he could tell him about it? He turned all of his evidence over and over again in his mind, always circling back to one moment at the beginning of their junior year when Fabian had given him a ride home from the Thistlesprings’ aboard the Hangman, the way that Fabian had shivered as Riz wrapped his arms around his middle, breath fogging out in the late march air and hovering over the stripe of bare skin at Fabian’s neck. When they’d arrived at Riz’s house, Fabian had grabbed his waist for a moment after he’d already gotten off the bike, pulling him close and looking like he wanted to say something. Riz had been too drunk at the time to think about it in the moment, but not enough to forget it either, especially not when Fabian had pushed him away so quickly afterward, even though nothing had happened, and sped away aboard his bike without making sure Riz got inside. He always made sure Riz got inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bike. Breath. Waist. Gone. Bike. Breath. Waist. Gone. Bike. Breath— </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz finally </span>
  <em>
    <span>(finally) </span>
  </em>
  <span>rolled above a ten on his insight check and just like that it clicked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How could he have been so </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid?</span>
  </em>
  <span> The answers were </span>
  <em>
    <span>right there</span>
  </em>
  <span> in front of him, had been for so long it was frankly embarrassing. For him, not for Fabian. God, Fabian. If he was right, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> right, what was he going to do about Fabian?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay there, kiddo?” He startled as Jawbone placed a hand on his shoulder, realizing he’d been breathing remarkably fast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, I am. I just cracked a case.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, good job there, then. Do you need to go or—?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz was tempted but, no, there was nothing urgent about this one, even though he desperately wanted to call Adaine and yell at her for not telling him. He said as much to Jawbone who just hummed, rubbing his shoulder once more before turning back to the food they were serving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, this reminds me of the time I was sucking off a yuan-ti in the backroom of a general store. I remember thinking, darn I really want some coke right now, which was weird because I’d had some literally right before this guy put his dick in my mouth. And then I realized, maybe I didn’t want coke, maybe I just wanted to be loved. Sometimes you just realize things.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er. Okay.” There wasn’t much more he could say in response to that, his brain busy playing a clip of fantasy John Mulaney saying, “Now we don’t have time to unpack </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> of that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew you’d get it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Totally.” Riz did not get it, but he didn’t want to hear anymore about some snake-person’s dick in regards to his friend and sort-of father figure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hour and change they had left dragged by agonizingly slowly, and Riz’s mind continued to spin and spin until, when their time was finally up, he bolted out the door, crystal in hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fabian has a crush on me.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He practically yelled into the phone as soon as Adaine picked it up, cutting off her prim, “Hello.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You finally figured it out then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz felt like tearing his hair out, “‘Finally?’ Why didn’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, you’re supposed to be my </span>
  <em>
    <span>sister.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well, what’s a sister if not someone who will lie to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know we’ve mostly moved past this but your perception of family is still fucked up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am aware, Rizothy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not my name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call it a nickname.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nicknames shouldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>lengthen</span>
  </em>
  <span> names, that’s not what they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>for.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait! You’re trying to distract me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adaine laughed and, because Riz was soft, it made the fire in his chest die down just a little bit. “I’d say I was succeeding.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz hissed in response, his tail flicking wildly and definitely scaring off a cluster of pigeons who were perched nearby, “Sometimes, Adaine, I want to throw you off a roof.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I make sure of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long have you known?” He asked, changing the conversation once again to the thing that had lit the fire under his ass in the first place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adaine sighed, “Since the middle of sophomore year, after everything over spring break. But I suspect he’d felt that way for a while before he told us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“‘Told you?’”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well, one night when you were out sneaking around he invited us all to Basrar’s and then immediately started crying once we got there and you didn’t show up. It wasn’t that hard to get it out of him after that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I was working, he knew that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, of course he did. That doesn’t make worrying about someone hurt any less.” The tone in her voice made it clear to Riz that she wasn’t just talking about Fabian’s feelings. Riz winced, he did feel bad putting himself in danger when he knew it scared his friends half to a death saving throw. “Anyway, I’m surprised. I thought you’d never realize.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I made a clue board,” Riz said simply. “Wanna see it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s nice, Riz. But, no, I don’t want to see how you had to carefully arrange all of your interactions with Fabian over the last few years in order to figure out he likes you.” The teasing in her voice undercut the harsh bite of her words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz blushed at it, anyway. “You know how I am with… feelings and romance and all that stuff.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, which you must imagine is why none of us have ever brought it up to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I guess that would make sense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I—” Adaine cut herself off, a loud crash sounding on the other side of the line. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Fuck.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Adaine, what are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trying out a new spell with Aelwyn. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit,</span>
  </em>
  <span> fucking hell,” Adaine kept swearing until the call went dead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz was just the tiniest bit worried about the ‘spell’ and the ‘Aelwyn’ and the copious amounts of swearing that had abruptly ended their call, but he knew more than anyone that Adaine could handle herself, especially against her sister if it ever came down to that again. Which, honestly, Riz didn’t think it would. Just like Riz had been getting better with his fixations, Aelwyn had been improving as well, in other ways. She’d been willingly coming to their group hang outs for a while now, and every time she was just a little bit friendlier, a little bit happier. And that honestly made </span>
  <em>
    <span>Riz</span>
  </em>
  <span> happier, despite what she’d done to Adaine and, to an extent, Fabian. They were all just kids, hurt kids, and the fact that they were healing made Riz </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> proud of his friends, of himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Back to Fabian. Riz had managed to stretch the case over a week and a half from sheer blockheadedness and limiting how much he got to do every day. The goal had been to figure it out the day Fabian got home, but plans don’t always work out, especially when discovering that your best friend had a big enough crush on you that literally all of your other friends knew. Honestly, Riz wasn’t upset about it, he just wanted to show </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> his clue board and Adaine had already said no. Kristen and Fig would be weird about it, and Gorgug would be uncomfortable, ruling out the other bad kids. He could already hear Sklonda’s “oh kiddo” if he ever showed it to her so she was out, and Jawbone would almost definitely tell him a really confusing story that left Riz a pile of tears at the end. So, yeah, figuring it out early wasn’t bad, it just meant he was that much more excited to see Fabian so that he could finally show his work off to someone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gorgug gave everyone a ride in the Hangvan to Seacaster Manor, the van once again filled to the brim by the bad kids. It’s sad in its familiarity, they’re only a month into the summer but Riz can already feel something drawing to a close. He knew they would all remain friends, but they’d never get this back, this feeling that was slowly slipping through his fingers. It’s funny. They were on their way to see Fabian for the first time in a month but Riz had never missed him more, the aching of it a physical pain in his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adaine saw his distress and misinterpreted it, “Have you talked to him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” Because that answer was simple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, Riz had </span>
  <em>
    <span>talked</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Fabian, almost every day on group calls or private ones. He had noticed a degree of wistfulness in Fabian’s voice when addressing him that had escaped him before, cementing Riz’s conclusion even more than Adaine’s confirmation had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does Riz have to talk to Fabian about?” Kristen asked, leaning over her spot in the passenger seat nosely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Riz said too fast, making Tracker, Ayda, and Fig all turn on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it is nothing then you would not be discussing it, yes?” Ayda asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, yeah, it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>something.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But it’s none of your guys’ business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is fair,” Ayda said, turning away even as Fig and Kristen just looked even more interested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lay off him, you’ll find out soon enough,” Adaine said, smirking, from Riz’s elbow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Adaine,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Riz hissed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to know,” Kristen said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh wouldn’t you look, we’re here!” Riz shouted and leapt from the vehicle as soon as Gorgug started to slow down in Fabian’s sprawling drive. It does make him have to walk, like, five minutes to actually get to the door but if it avoids the conversation with the rest of their group then it’s worth it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian wasn’t even home yet and it left them standing awkwardly around his back porch/yard/whatever-the-fancy-word-for-oh-wait-it’s-a-patio with Fabian’s mom, whose gaze was piercing and made Riz’s skin crawl slightly. He’d always felt weird around Fabian’s mom, and Fabian’s dad when he was alive. Riz didn’t mean to, but he blamed them for most of the shit Fabian had gone through and was still working out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, it’s ten o’clock Fabian, come on,” Fig whined, Ayda shushed her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz had a second to shift a little on his feet and look in Fig’s direction before a flicker caught his eye from the center of the lawn. The hair on his tail spiked in excitement as Fabian’s shadow flickered into view, and then Fabian was standing there, looking roguish as ever, holding a bag over his shoulder. Riz knew for a fact that he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>way</span>
  </em>
  <span> more luggage than that, he probably just wanted to look cool.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mama! Friends!” Fabian only had enough time to put his bag down and yell to them before Riz was bounding at him, taking a dash action to get across the lawn and then leap into his arms. “Oof,” he heard Fabian mutter from above him. “Hello, The Ball.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz fumbled at Fabian’s shoulders, getting better purchase so he could peer up at him, “Hi. Missed you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian’s expression softened and Riz felt his breath lodge in his throat. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I missed you too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first thing he noticed was that Fabian was no longer wearing his father’s old, worn eye patch and instead had a patch held to his eye by a loop of lace. It was… rather fitting for him, and brought out the color of his remaining eye. The second thing was that Fabian was smiling tightly, even though Riz could tell he was happy to have him in his arms. He made a mental note to talk to him about that later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Save some love for the rest of us!” Kristen yelled from where the rest of the group was still waiting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian hooked an arm more firmly around Riz, moving him so that he was clinging to his hip instead of his front, and shouldered his bag again, walking them towards the group. He stayed somewhere on Fabian’s person for that entire first meeting on the lawn, moving from Fabian’s hip to his back to his shoulders to his front again. Fabian moved him around like he weighed less than the forty pounds he knew he did. It was nice to be able to clamber around Fabian after he hadn’t in so long, even if Adaine kept throwing knowing looks in his direction and even Gorgug was looking a bit confused at Riz. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stayed the night at Seacaster Manor, up late listening to Fabian wax poetic about his time in Fallinel and watching shitty movies that were just a smidge away from porn that Kristen had begged them to put on. There was still that tightness around Fabian’s mouth, the way his foot twitched slightly whenever he described his time in Fallinel. Riz would ask him about it later, tomorrow, after he showed him the board. Right. The board.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have something I want to show you. At my house,” Riz whispered to him from where they were sprawled on his floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask what it is?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope. Come over to mine tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which was how Riz found himself holding on tight to Fabian’s waist aboard the Hangman on the way to his house the next morning. The Hangman had growled at him and he could tell it had tried to convince Fabian not to take him on it, but Fabian had obviously ignored the bike. Riz let his fingers skim over the muscles of Fabian’s front that he could reach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How was Fallinel, really?” Riz asked, yelling slightly over the wind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Fabian said, but his shoulders drooped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re lying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen. Fallinel was fine. My mother’s family was fine. It’s all deeply </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I’m just glad to be home, The Ball. There isn’t always some big answer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know that,” Riz muttered, hurt a little even though he was trying his best not to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound that harsh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not. I’d been getting better with that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. It’s really okay, Fabian.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was quiet then, the only sounds coming from the Hangman and the wind. Fabian pulled up to the apartment complex, helping Riz off the bike even though he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t need it. It’s nice anyway, the brief touch of Fabian’s hand on his bringing back the memory of the moment that had tied the whole case together and suddenly Riz was so excited he was bouncing a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, The Ball. It’s that good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I’m not sure. I like it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good enough for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They made it into Riz’s apartment, and if it weren’t for Fabian spotting his mom at their kitchen table he would have breezed right past her to get to the clue board.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Sklonda,” Fabian’s rounded syllables sounded out her name familiarly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fabian! It’s so good to see you again, how was your trip?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excellent, really. You should go sometime, elven—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, mom, can’t talk right now. Gotta show Fabian something, bye.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian totally could have resisted Riz’s strength check to tug him across the kitchen area and into his room, but he didn’t, muttering out a hurried apology to Sklonda on their way. Riz slammed the door shut behind him, something he almost never did and would definitely hear about from his mother later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> curious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz clambered onto his bed, reaching into the crack between it and the wall and withdrawing his cork board before propping it up on top of his bed. “I figured it out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence filled the room for a single, pregnant second, until he saw recognition spark in Fabian’s eye. A quiet, “Oh, Cass,” leaving his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I got really bored and decided fuck it, ya know. And I knew you were keeping something from me so I went through all of…” Riz went on and on, detailing the exact ways he figured out the truth behind Fabian’s longing stares, his fleeting touches. He stared at his board as he talked, pointing to a picture or a sticky note or string, explaining each piece in the puzzle that was Fabian’s heart. It wasn’t until he was done, wrapping up with a, “And then Adaine told me she’d known all along, but honestly, you did a really good job hiding it,” that he turned to face Fabian.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian’s breathing was fast, his eye darting around panicked. “Hey, uh, you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t expect it when Fabian began to cry, what started out as a single tear quickly turning into big, heaving sobs that shook his chest. Riz scrambled for him, board momentarily forgotten, running his hands over Fabian’s cheeks and into his hair, trying to wipe the tears away. Fabian looked like he was fighting a battle inside of his head, ultimately losing and sinking down onto Riz’s bed, into Riz’s arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That startled a laugh out of Fabian. It was weak and watery, but better than the crying and Riz held onto it. “‘What’s wrong?’ You… you figured it out. You have </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> right here, right there. I can’t. How would you want to look at me after that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian laughed again, this time meanly, harshly. “Oh is right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean… I didn’t want to upset you. I got…” Riz trailed off again, trying to collect his thoughts. He ended up pulling away from Fabian to tug frustratedly at his hair, “I got so excited about cracking the case that I forgot you might, well, feel like this about it. But I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t mean it like that. Gods, I was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was sure he looked more than a bit feral. Hair sticking up in tufts from where he’d been pulling at it, pupils slitted in anger and hackles raised in distress. He looked like the last thing in the world that Fabian Aramais Seacaster would want to be with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which is why he was so surprised when Fabian leaned in and kissed him. It was quick, and wet from the crying, and Riz was more than kind of worried that maybe he’d just imagined it. But Fabian was looking at him even more brokenly, although this time with a flush high on his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Riz said again, stupidly, eyes darting briefly between Fabian’s eye and his lips, licking absentmindedly over his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian sucked in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m— I’m sorry, I—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, The Ball,” Fabian smiled weakly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that wasn’t right </span>
  <em>
    <span>at all.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Why was he looking at him like that? Like he’d both lost hope and made peace with it at the same time? If Riz could make anything happen, he wanted Fabian to never look like that again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian took Riz’s silence as a sign to continue, “Listen, you, well, you already know this but I like you. A lot. I know you do not feel the same way, and that is alright. It’s perfectly fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait. No!” Riz exclaimed, tugging at his hair again, taking another step away from Fabian on his bed. “I, what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, I don’t… I can assure you I am even more confused than you, The Ball.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I meant no, you, um, you’re wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t sound too sure,” Fabian bit out, flinching as he registered his own words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry! I guess I didn’t get this far!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just— I got </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> caught up in figuring it out, I didn’t— I’m…” Riz tugged at his hair one more time before looking back to Fabian, sitting broken on the side of his bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His expression, more than anything, made up Riz’s mind about what to do next. Riz got a nat twenty on his acrobatics check, because of course he did, launching himself into Fabian’s lap and grasping his face gently but firmly. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing; he’d only had, well, at this point he’d only had two kisses, one from his lesbian friend and the other from the boy sitting before him. Riz understood the simple logistics of it, though, so he didn’t put too much thought into it, pressing his mouth against Fabian’s for longer than Fabian had before, only pulling back when Fabian’s hands had confusedly wrapped around his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There.” Riz said, proud of himself for some reason that he didn’t want to inspect too closely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um—” Fabian sounded like he was gearing up for something and honestly Riz still couldn’t articulate his feelings right now so he just leaned forward again, pressing his mouth once more to Fabian’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A quiet sigh escaped Fabian at this one, humming against Riz’s lips, and he felt Fabian’s hands begin to move over his back, rubbing soft circles into his shoulders and ghosting over the hair at the nape of his neck. Riz’s own hands began to move of their own accord, smoothing over cheekbones and working their way into tangled curls, before barely, and accidentally, brushing over the tip of one of Fabian’s ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian sucked in a breath, a barely suppressed moan slipping out of his lips, and he pulled away, staring at Riz with dilated eyes. “Okay, um, hi. You can’t do that until we talk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s, uh, fine. Just. Hm. We need to have a conversation about this first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were ace, or aro, I guess would be more pertinent,” Fabian admitted, hands still on Riz’s back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no. I mean, I’m demi? Er, demisexual. But I am,” Riz blew out a heavy breath, eyes darting down to Fabian’s lips, “very, very gay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s good to know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, is this a thing? Can this be a thing now?” Fabian didn’t sound nervous, or upset anymore, which made Riz feel a lot better about the whole situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would like to, I mean, I think I would? I want to keep kissing you.” It was true that he hadn’t necessarily thought about it beforehand, which was definitely an oversight he would make sure to take care of next time. Or, not next time, because when would he figure out that his best friend had secretly been in love with him again? Riz honestly hoped he’d never have a redo where he could be better prepared, because that would maybe mean he’d be with Fabian for the rest of his life and… okay, that was a bit too much to think of right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would like that too, The Ball.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz stared into Fabian’s eye, the grey swirling like a small storm. He was pretty sure he could get lost in that eye, spend eons stumbling around under its spell. He settled for the few seconds it took before his fingers traced gently over his cheekbone and Fabian’s eye slipped shut, a sigh slipping from his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian was once again the one who kissed Riz first, leaning up with his eye still shut and pressing a soft kiss to Riz’s lips, or, rather, the skin at the corner of his mouth when he misses just slightly. They kissed like that for a while, sweetly, and Riz melts like butter into Fabian’s hands. Another quiet, muffled moan broke through the stillness as Riz once again skimmed a finger over the top of Fabian’s ears. He did it again, and again, until Fabian was pulling back, breathing heavy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, why did you kiss me in the first place?” Riz asked before Fabian could finish whatever he was saying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian blushed, even more than he already was, caught off guard but even more embarrassed than when Riz had first pulled the board out. “You, well, you were really passionate about everything and your eyes were doing that </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He mumbled the last part, “And it was really hot, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz’s entire brain screeched to a halt. “You think I’m hot?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian coughed, “Against my better judgement, trust me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Asshole.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it really not obvious?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean…” The thing was, literally everything Fabian had done up until this point pointed to the fact that yeah, he did think Riz was really hot. But it was still fucking bonkers that it might be true. There’s a difference between knowing someone is attracted to you and </span>
  <em>
    <span>knowing</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. The first one’s nice of course, makes you feel good about yourself, but the other one… the other one is soul shattering, Earth stopping. Especially when it’s someone who is literally the only person in all of the sixteen (or seventeen, one could never be sure where those rock babies went) planes that you find hot too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Ball,” Fabian groaned, this time more annoyed than turned on, “is it your life’s goal to embarrass me? Yes. Yes I think you’re hot. I think you’re especially hot when you’re solving cases and making dex saves and looking all… deranged and rumpled.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, it surprised me too.” It would be rude, if Fabian wasn’t always rude and if he hadn’t said this with a smile and knowing smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz punched Fabian in the arm, with his whole negative three strength, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Asshole.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know that too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Literally. Shut the fuck up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a few ideas about how you could do that,” Fabian squiggled his eyebrows, pointing a smarmy smirk at Riz.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t mean to, but the hair on Riz’s face stood on end to make himself look bigger in front of Fabian as he threatened “Oh my gods. I am going to hide under your bed and stab you in your sleep. I know where you live and I have a stealth bonus that would blow your fucking mind, don’t test me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz blinked as he took in the fact that the threat had only made Fabian’s eye dilate further, his mouth parting as he whispered, “Fantasy Jesus Christ.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was all it took for Riz to break out into a fit of laughter, slumping down so that he was sitting beside Fabian. A moment later Fabian joined him, his showy, practiced laughter mixed in with the snorts that only came out when it was gone midnight and they’d had too much to drink for a group of high schoolers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it like,” Riz wheezed, “a goblin kink or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Fabian snickered back. And then, more sober, “If it’s a goblin kink then it’s strictly a you-goblin kink.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you know that I don’t actually regret any of this,” Fabian gestured between them, looking determined, like he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say this. “You are… one of the few things I would never wish to change about my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Riz really sounded like a broken record tonight, didn’t he?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Although I would be open to changing the </span>
  <em>
    <span>status</span>
  </em>
  <span> of our relationship. You know, make it a CrystalBook official sort of deal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… you want to be boyfriends?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’ve got to let everyone know I’m getting my kisses in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want people to know about me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian lifted a hand to Riz’s face, “I’ve been pining over you for an embarrassingly long time, I would be surprised if everyone didn’t already know. Besides, the rest of the bad kids are already aware.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Riz said. And then again, more confidently, “Okay. You’re my boyfriend now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am going to get so many kisses,” Fabian said, completely seriously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz laughed, leaning in and pecking Fabian’s mouth before pulling back again. “I’m still not one hundred percent sure about… sex and all that. I mean, I think I might like to someday but—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s consider it tabled for now. We can always come back to it later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds good,” Riz agreed before throwing a leg over Fabian’s lap, straddling him on his knees so that his mouth was almost at the same height as Fabian’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hello,” Fabian said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’re you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Awesome, honestly, I just got a boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really? Me too, what a coincidence.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you know you are just as dorky and uncool as I am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have been painfully aware of it since our sophomore year, yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good, just checking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz leaned forward and kissed him again. He could kind of understand the hype around kissing now, whereas in the past he’d been a proud member of Adaine’s anti-kissing camp. It was probably because he was with Fabian, who was really the only person he’d ever imagined kissing. Fabian was also, objectively, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> at the whole thing. He knew what to do with his hands and with his mouth and Riz could feel his knees shaking slightly as Fabian pulled him into his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you,” Fabian murmured against his mouth before licking at Riz’s bottom lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz’s heart was so full it could burst. “I missed you too,” he gasped, Fabian using his open mouth as an opportunity to work his tongue over Riz’s teeth. Riz pulled away slightly, “Wait, my fangs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The Ball.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The Ball, seriously, seriously, you are so hot.” Fabian just pulled him in again, pushing his tongue back into his mouth, this time purposely catching it on his fangs until Riz could taste a faint bloom of blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz’s breath stuttered and he was split between pushing Fabian away and pulling him in closer, the decision made for him when two sharp knocks sounded on his door and it swung open as Sklonda Gukgak ducked her head in. And, of course, because it’s Riz and this check is actually kind of important, he rolled a nat one on his acrobatics to get out of Fabian’s lap, falling off of him and onto the floor instead, but not before cutting Fabian’s lip open with his fang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m heading out, just wanted to— oh gods, guys. Are you okay?” Sklonda stepped into his room. Riz wanted to hide under his bed but couldn’t sort out how to get himself out of the mess of limbs he’d become.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sklonda picked him up, setting him back on his feet with a slight grunt. “There you go.” Riz was too mortified to look at Fabian, instead staring at a spot over his mom’s shoulder. “So. What’re you guys up to.” His mom had a bonkers insight bonus too, she definitely knew what they’d been “up to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it didn’t hurt to try. “I was showing Fabian my clue board.” He winced as it came out too bubbly, this is why he was an inquisitor instead of a straight up rogue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh-huh. Fabian, do you need, like, a towel or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m good thank you, Sklonda, er, Captain Gukgak.” Riz dared to look back at Fabian then, a hand pressed to his lip where blood was running down his chin. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sklonda sighed, sending Riz into panic mode. “Listen, I’m not going to judge or anything, you’re both out of high school now. But, one, stay safe, and two, please, for the love of the gods, </span>
  <em>
    <span>do not</span>
  </em>
  <span> do anything while I’m home ever again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We weren’t ‘doing things,’” Riz mumbled but he figured it was a moot point when Fabian winced, saying, “Yes, of course, Captain Gukgak.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just call me Sklonda, Fabian.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I came in here to tell you I’m heading out,” Sklonda said, taking a step back to Riz’s door. “Are you guys gonna be… alright? Fabian, you can get that lip healed up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I took the medic feat, remember?” Riz said, if only to get her out the door faster.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, right. Okay. See you guys later. I know we’ve had it before but if we need to have another talk later we will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Bye,</span>
  </em>
  <span> mom,” Riz bit out, his whole face feeling like it was on fire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shut the door with a quiet snick, Riz refused to move until he heard the outer door to the apartment open and shut as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, the cat’s outta the bag,” Fabian said and Riz turned to him, rushing as he remembered </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh, right</span>
  </em>
  <span> Fabian was bleeding and he probably should do something about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re— Fantasy Jesus, Fabian, you’re really cut up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Totally worth it,” Fabian said around Riz’s fingers that were now poking and prodding his mouth to patch it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riz just rolled his eyes, fixing up his lip quickly. He’d have to get a proper heal from Kristen probably, or, maybe not Kristen because she would definitely never shut up about it. He pulled away and just stared at Fabian who stared back before coughing, “Well, your mom kind of ruined the mood, didn’t she?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Want to message the squad and see if they want to go to Basrar’s?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fabian leaned up and pressed a kiss to Riz’s cheek as he fished his crystal out from where it had gotten lost in the sheets. The rest of the bad kids replied quickly, they were always quick when it came to ice cream, and Fabian only got one more chaste kiss in before they were leaving the apartment too, getting back onto the Hangman.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time Riz let himself nestle into Fabian’s back, squeezing his arms tighter around his middle. Looking back on it, he wasn’t entirely sure how today had gotten to this point, but if it meant getting to do this, unabashedly hold onto Fabian as they rode to meet up with their friends, he would gladly do it all over again.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i love these kids so so much, i will definitely be writing more of them. </p><p>i hope you enjoyed this fic!! i'm on tumblr at <a href="https://labelleofbelfastcity.tumblr.com">labelleofbelfastcity</a> please come yell at me about fantasy high it's pretty much all i'm thinking about right now.</p><p>have a great day/night and, as always, don't be shy to leave a comment!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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